It was this, this fella, right, who, uh, he had a problem with his eyes, right?

So, uh, he goes to the doctors and he goes, "I've got problem with my eyes." And he goes, "Yeah, they bad them," right? He goes, uh, it was in America, you know, like how you have to pay for medical stuff and all that? And the doctor said, "Oh, if I fix them, it's going to be like ten grand," right? He's like, "But I haven't got the money, doctor." He goes, "Well, I can't help you then. You know, there's a lot of people with bad eyes like them. Can't do anything for you." So he goes, "Oh, it's getting worse." "Can't do anything." So anyway, so he goes home.

So he goes home, he's looking in the paper, right? And he sort of sees in the adverts at the back and there's a little advert there saying, cheap doctors, right?

So he's thinking, oh, maybe that's, maybe that's what I, maybe that's what I need, right? So he calls him up. Woman's there, she's like, "Alright, what can I do?" He goes, "I've got bad eyes and that." She's like "Come in tomorrow, we'll sort them out." He's like, "Brilliant, I'll see you then." Right? So he goes down there and he says, "Right, you know, I can hardly see. My eyes have got in really bad state and what have you. Need to have him sorted out? I don't know what you do, whatever you do, I need doing."

Not really, he's sort of squinting and that. But, you know, so he's like, "Do I need to see the doctor to, you know, have a word and tell them what problems?" She's like, "No, don't worry about that."

Just, just, you know, just let me inject you and we'll knock you out and we'll get on with it.

So anyway, so he's had the injection, he's nodding off and what have you, right? His eyes are sort of closing and that. He hears the door open. He sort of just sees this little fella come in and he's like, "Hello, doctor." He's trying to, like, make a chat with it, but like he's just nodding off.

No he's just-

So anyway, he thought, oh, it's weird he didn't answer but, you know, doctors can be quite moody, you know, they're highly intelligent.

They don't need just idle chit chat. There's no room for that, do you know what I mean? It's like, I'm here to do a job.

So anyway, time passes, right? He sort of wakes up and he opens his eyes, right? And it's brilliant. He can't believe it.

He's had the op. He can't believe the sight. He's like, "Nurse!" Right? And the nurse comes in. He goes "I can't believe it. This is brilliant. I've never had this such good sight, you know? I mean, even when I was a baby."

And my eyes were new, I didn't see this good.

So she's like, well, you know, that's what-

That's, that's what we do, right? So he said, "Right, so can I just see the doctor and just say thanks and that?" She's like, "Well, to be honest, you know, he's specialised in what he does." There's a lot-

There's a lot of, there's a lot of, like, operations he's got to do.

So, you know, leave him to it. He's just having a kip, you know. I'll let him know that you were grateful, you know, pay us a check. Off you go. Go and enjoy looking at stuff.

So he says. He said, no, I just. What's wrong with that? I just want to see the doctor. Just leave it, just leave.

And he's like, yeah, but I can't, you know, I want to thank him. He's done such a good thing for me. So they're getting into a bit of an argument and what have you, and their voices are raising, right?

Door opens...

Well, that's what they did. They woke it up, right?

So the door opens, right? Little monkey comes out-

And he's like, what's... what's... what's going on here? It's a hospital. Why is there... why is there a monkey knocking about?

So the woman said, well, what do you mean? He's the doctor. So, so he's like, you are having a laugh, aren't you? She goes, look, don't complain. Your eyes are sorted.

You know, the doctor's done it. What... what... what's the problem? He said, well, if I'd have known that, I wouldn't have come here. She said, well, what do you mean you didn't know that? She said, the advert in the paper you read, it said 'chimp doctors'.